Grow up in a bubble of concerns that occupy your time, let them take you away from the larger issues at hand that might be too much for you to handle. You are just one person after all, so to deal with existentialism engulf yourself with reader’s digest, learn about the largest breed of dogs, the best vacation destinations you will never visit, and how to be more fuckable. Try to keep all this information down even if it makes you sick. Care about what people think, the way you dress, how your body can be moulded into unrealistic ideals, stretch it thin and colour it white. Try to reach the unreachable. Most importantly, do not look up.
Stress about assignments, exams, and the future. Let your GPA be the scale you use to measure your self-esteem and self-worth. Call yourself a failure if you don’t get the 4.0 GPA and acquire exceptional experience at the same time. Who cares if you had to work to pay your way through school and if there was trouble at home, there is no section in the graduate school application that covers that. It’s a privilege to get a higher education, not a right . . . right? Again, do not look up.
Do not let the prison bars of student loans hold you back from taking part in consumerism. Buy things you don’t need and will never use, simply to fill a void and act as distraction. Need love and affection, order a pizza and post a picture on social media. Not feeling good about yourself? Dress up in the new outfit that you never wore and doll up. Take a dozen photos, find one you like, edit the heck out of it, and post it online to be showered with compliments from people you barely see anymore. Take the clothes and makeup off and watch some YouTube videos. It is best not to look up.
Fall in love hard, let it blind you from the truth and engulf you in its furry. Its best to fall in love with the wrong person, it keeps things interesting. Despite its toxicity, fight to keep it alive, and watch as they slowly fade away and blame you for saying goodbye. Take the easy road afterwards . . . let others fall in love with you but never love them back, occupy your time with petty arguments and plans for the future, for eventually you will fool yourself enough to believe its true. Soon they too will fade but this time it wont hurt the same. You will cry more for self-pity than lost love. Do not look up.
It’s a sunny day though and the sky is a perfect blue, so you gaze away from the darkness of your apartment and you look up. You are touched by the vastness and livelihood of this planet. You realize that there is no one in the world looking at your view from this particular angel and vantage point, but you wonder how many people are looking at the sky at the same moment you are, and what brought them to look up? There is so much beauty and yet so little time to experience it all . . . how small we are on the continuum of existence yet how infinite that moment seems. You feel a sense of urgency to take action and all the thoughts hidden in your sub-consciousness arise like flames. You are too contingent, the only permanence is in words, so you rush to write something meaningful in hope that you may live through the end and survive within these pages. Look up!
My Life As Grace 